People hate change.
But not me. I absolutely love change. In fact, I often times prefer it over consistency. Once a month I rearrange my room because I'm tired of the way it looks. I easily change my wardrobe twice a year because I've found a new style to match personality. But this is nothing new.
As a child, I had a very hard time committing to one particular thing. When I was a ballerina, I wanted to play softball and when I played softball, I wanted to be a astronaut. I loved being bored because it gave me the chance to think of a new way to be creative...
Sometimes I feel bad for my hair, though, because it gets the brunt of my boredom. For example, I had a different hairstyle every year from third to twelfth grade. And if you don't believe me, here are a few highlights from over the years:
I have learned so much from my hair that while I might love bangs, the upkeep is annoying and expensive. Or that I love my short blonde hair but the dye is damaging and the upkeep is also expensive . That being said, I like the long brown hair on me most because I can do the most with it, I feel the most beautiful because It's all natural, and it's not as much upkeep as the other styles.
In October of this year (2018), I was convicted of not being fully immersed in the Spirit and the Lord wanted to heal this broken relationship that we had. That's when he said to me, "Let's start with the hair..." to which I jumped for joy. And without really knowing what that meant, I went to the nearest salon and got it all chopped off. I went on for the next few weeks loving my hair and myself because I once again got to add a little excitement to my life. After the dust settled and the smoke cleared, I remember thinking, "Okay, God. I love my new hair and all, but are you gonna let me in on why we cut it?" to which He responded:
"All your life, you've gone about doing what you want when you want it. Well enough is enough. You're impatient and have a tendency to be lazy so when little things start to annoy you, you want to wipe the slate clean and start all over."
"Okay, okay. Don't you think you're being kind of harsh. It's more of a patience thing than a control issue."
"I'm not being harsh, but now that I have your attention I need you to listen to me... Sacrifice your hair to me. Cut it off and dedicate the time it takes for you to grow it out to me as a symbol for your patience. Grow out your hair for your husband as if to say, look at what I did and how I waited for you on the Lord's time."
It's the little things in your life that you need to be willing to let go of. Jesus wants our full attention and surrender. Now, am I saying that cutting your hair is bad? Of Course not. But for me, cutting my hair allowed me to have a little bit of control over my life and it allowed me to practice my impatience and laziness. So for me, cutting my hair was a matter of a deeper rooted heart condition.
As silly as it sounds, allowing my hair to grow out is a huge deal for me because I've decided to relinquish what little control I do have left of my life. But I am ready for a complete surrender. That means everything from my hair to the music I listen to to the poor influences and toxic relationships in my life. For right now, we are starting small: my hair.
God is really moving in my life and it is amazing what losing a few inches will do for you.
Peace,
Ruby
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